Diary Of A Slightly Mental Girl

Over Dinner

Thu, 22 Apr 2004 13:10:00 GMT

Jake: *loud voice* I am GAY!

Ash: *chokes on her food*

Mom: That's nice, honey. If you want, I can set up a meeting for you with my shrink, to, you know, fully understand and come to terms with your sexuality and all that crap.

Dad: *insulted* You are seeing a shrink? When I am a fully qualified nurse working in a mental hospital, for God's sake?

Mom: What the fuck? Jer, imagine if I come to you saying that I have sexual dreams involving Harrison Ford and a leather whip. It'll destroy our marriage, I tell you.

Jake: *loudly* Hey, I started the conversation! This should be about me, me, ME!

Mom: *soothingly* Go on son. Tell us how the fuck did you realize you were gay.

Jake: Actually, not exactly.

Ash: My God, you are bi?

Jake: No, actually, I'm just playing a gay. The play's called 'Lover's Word' and it's about straight couples in a homosexual world where they are discriminated instead of the gay couples. It's cool. I play the lead character. *defensively* And Nicolette says I have talent and am convincing. So Ashley, no shit on how I can't act.

Mom: Holy fuck that's great! I'll be there on the opening night.

Dad: *suddenly* You have sexual dreams involving Harrison Ford and a leather whip?

Mom: Well - er -

Ash: *helpfully* You look like Harrison Ford, dad.

Jake: Yeah, especially when you wear your cowboy hat. And the shirt. And add some scruffy dirt. And maybe a leather whip, yah.

Thu, 22 Apr 2004 13:03:01 GMT

Argh. I am jealous of Jamie.

She was talking to Nicholas (a guy working at MacDonald's) this afternoon about her band Denim Gray, and then at the end of the conversation, Nicholas asked her out on a date. (his actual words were, "Why don't we meet up at the mall this Sat and you can tell me more?" but we all know what a fuckin' big lie that is, don't we?)

Why is Jamie so lucky? I mean, all she did was to talk to Nicholas and BOOM! A date. Whereas me, who spends everyday shaving her legs and armpits and making sure my hair isn't too dry or too fragile, can't even land one.

If things went as smoothly for me as it did for Jamie:

a) Alvin would have already asked me out, after our hand-written Instant Messaging.
b) Marcus, no doubt charmed by our 'witty' jibing over Britney Spears, would be intrigued by the 'girl with the red hair' and ask around for my name.
c) I wouldn't be known as the 'girl with the red hair'.

So sad. I think I shall go message Alvin. We are turning out to be good friends.

Marcus

Sat, 17 Apr 2004 13:35:13 GMT

Saw Marcus outside school today. He was waiting by the curb - as I was. I was trying pretty hard to remain casual, and when I saw that he had an Britney Spears CD in his hand, I said the first thing that came to mind: "I hate that girl."

He turned around, smiled wryly at me. Cue fast heartbeat; sweating palms, breathlessness, etc, in Ashley Leigh.

"Oh?" he asked. He looked away, shielded his eyes from the sun. "A lot of people don't. Says she's a slut."

"Um," I tried to find something to reply to that. Fortunately I thought of what Ryan once said and modified the sentence. "Yeah, I am one of them. The shallow armchair critic who makes her judgement before listening to her songs."

"Hmm."

Shit, I'm digging my own grave, I thought wildly. "I guess I insulted your idol huh?"

He chuckled and didn't reply. A few minutes later, his mom's car arrived and he boarded it.

"Bye," I said absently, not expecting him to answer. But to my surprise he grinned at me from inside the car and rolled down the window.

"By the way," he said. "I'm not a fan of Britney."

And he drove off.

Who else could be as charming as this Marcus? Argh.

Passing Notes

Fri, 16 Apr 2004 14:23:48 GMT

Me: Thanks for the picture. Ashley.

Alvin: Frame it up or else.

Me: Hey hey - since when do people attach rules and regulations on presents? =(

Alvin: Well that drawing took me the better part of an hour. And the shading took years. I'd like to see it last.

Later...

Alvin: I think Queer Eye For The Straight Guy sucks.

Me: You kidding.

Alvin: Buffy is better. So is The Practice.

Me: Buffy was canned, The Practice's axed. QEFSG is still on.

Alvin: ....

Later...

Alvin: You and Ryan, going out?

Me: No, not that way. Ryan's not attracted to me.

Alvin: But you guys are always together.

Me: Ryan, me, Tommy, Jamie. We're all single and somewhat horny (jk), but platonic ties only.

Alvin: I've heard rumours.

Me: If your next sentence sounds vaguely homophobic, I'm not speaking to you no more.

:Alvin starts laughing and stops when The Teacher looks at him askance:

Alvin: I wasn't refering to that. I was saying that there are rumours of you two dating.

Me: No, not true. You mean there are rumours? Are they wide-spread?

Alvin: Not much. It's like, "... and Ryan seems to be going out with that red-haired girl."

Me: This is depressing. I am known as the 'red-haired girl' around school?

James Dean

Thu, 15 Apr 2004 13:54:31 GMT

...James Dean had one of the most spectacularly brief careers of any screen star. In just more than a year, and in only three films, Dean became a widely admired screen personality, a personification of the restless American youth of the mid-50's, and an embodiment of the title of one of his film Rebel Without A Cause. En route to compete in a race in Salinas, James Dean was killed in a highway accident on September 30, 1955.

"There is no simple explanation for why he has come to mean so much to so many people today. Perhaps it is because, in his acting, he had the intuitive talent for expressing the hopes and fears that are a part of all young people... In some movie magic way, he managed to dramatize brilliantly the questions every young person in every generation must resolve."

=(

Thu, 15 Apr 2004 13:39:40 GMT

Ryan is getting a Livejournal :grin:

Yesterday I got the shock of my life when I went to school and saw Alvin's drawing on my table. He tapped a note: Saw you looking at it during Biology and thought you might want to have it. Cheers, Alvin.

So sweet. Ryan, who is sitting next to me, immediately grabbed the drawing and glanced at it suspiciously (he can't stand it when people draws better than him.)

"It's ugly," he declared.

"He draws better than you anyway," I retorted, causing Ryan to have a mini fit and refusing to talk to me for the rest of the day.

Jamie had a slightly cooler reaction. She asked if she could make a copy to "analyse the lines, see if it could tell anything about Alvin."

It seems a bit impolite not to thank him, so I wrote him a thank-you note and put it between his books during lunch. Hopefully he'll get to see it.

What If?

Tue, 13 Apr 2004 11:11:13 GMT

Jamie: Have you ever thought about what would happen if Marcus ever come to your house for dinner one night?

Me: I don't even want to think about it.

But school was horribly mundane, so instead of doing my math, I was thinking exactly about it. No way would I want Marcus to meet my mom.

Mom: So Marcus, what do you like to do in your free time? Play Diablo? Half-Life? Final Fantasy? Watch movies? Or *hisses in low voice* Do you believe that Roswell happened?
Marcus: Uh, madam, actually I -
Mom: Lily.
Marcus: What?
Mom: Call me Lily *titters* Madam sounds so old, tsk tsk. Oh, and where the fuck is your father, Ash? I've already told him fuckin' times that Marcus is over for dinner and he really should be early... and put that fuck away, Jake, now.

Marcus would be horrified, I think.

I sat next to Alvin today. He was drawing an anime picture and I couldn't stop looking at it. The anime guy had baggy pants, a dragon tattoo, and a really hip hairstyle. At the end of the period I complimented him and he smiled for the first time in the whole period. I wish Marcus would smile at me like that.

Denim Gray

Mon, 12 Apr 2004 12:48:27 GMT

Oh. Headache from listening to Jamie play her electric guitar and James banging away at his drums. But great version of 'Alcoholic' though. Of course, for me the bonus is seeing Marcus there.

Leatherjacket!Marcus, no less. Ryan took one look at him and remarked that if I wasn't so obviously besotted with him, he would have gone after Ryan himself. Tommy then slung an arm around Ryan and murmured, "But then what about me?"

To which Ryan quipped, "Go run off into the arms of Jamie, and moan about my utter betrayal before having a lot of sex."

Ryan then ambled off to get us drinks, and I stood there staring at Marcus until Tommy slapped me on the head. We started talking about Marcus until Ryan came back and overheard.

Ryan: "Bad news, Ash. While I was over there I spotted Lisa talking to him. Lisa was leaning forward and pressing her arms together to gain cleavage, and he couldn't make his eyes leave her chest."

"That slut!" Tommy cried, although I still do not know if he is referring to Marcus, or Lisa.

Sigh. Have hoped that Marcus is as mysterious and as deep as he looks and care more about personality than the size of people's breasts. Obviously mistaken.

Sun, 11 Apr 2004 15:16:12 GMT

Yesterday my mom discovered a few of Ryan's messages that he sent me eons ago. They were pretty risque, to say the least - but sending risque, not-at-all-true messages between the four of us has became common practice, so I don't notice the eplicitness until now - and my mom went nuts.

Frankly, I don't understand her sometimes. This comes from a woman who insist that her children call her 'Lily', believes that the US government is all part of a big conspiracy, that aliens has landed on our planet and Roswell was just a whole big cover-up (this, unfortunately, I believe), and that postitution should be made legal so that those who enjoy sex can earn a living (her view, not mine). And she freaks because of a few NC-17 messages? After all, she knows Ryan forever and should know that he would not be interested even if I do a striptease and tie him up with a leather belt.

Ryan is coming over to my house tonight to teach me Biology. Oh dear. I think my mom would station herself outside my room to make sure that certain things mentioned in the messages does not get fulfilled out.

In other news, will be going to watch Denim Gray perform tomorrow after school. Jamie said that Marcus might be there. Cannot wait.

First Entry

Sun, 11 Apr 2004 14:43:10 GMT

My name is Ashley Leigh G.

I'm pretty neurotic for a girl my age. Also have an unnaturally strange obsession with the occult and James Dean. Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong era because of the latter.

I have three great friends - Jamie, who's pretty, Ryan, who's great fun, and Tommy, who's a pain in the ass when he's drunk. I also happen to have a crush on Marcus, but let's not talk about that.

I have the wackiest mom on the planet, not only because she uses the word 'fuck' a lot and at will, but also because she convinced me (and my brother Jake) that Roswell did happen.

My dad is normal by comparison, although he does work as a nurse in a loony bin hospital, so imagine the people he sees.

My brother's Jake. He's one year younger than me, but lusted after by many girls in his grade.

Oh, and I talk to myself. A lot. Brooding, not so much.

How's that for an introduction?